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Trauma Informed Therapy

Attachment therapy helps us understand the unique way we view and build relationships. We all want secure relationships. When our secure attachment system is in place, we feel safe, and our breathing is slowed, our body relaxes, we feel seen and heard. Feeling secure comes naturally to individuals born in secure households but for those of us who never felt good enough love is more difficult. The art of attachment repair has been described as one of the best predictors of longer, happier, healthy relationships. And fortunately a great deal of healing of attachment is possible and even common in adulthood. (Heller, 2013). 

In households where love was coupled with fear and violence, it is difficult to trust. This kind of fear of a caregiver often creates a disorganized attachment system. With a disorganized system, we constantly feel pulled toward love while also frozen with fear. We work with this system by separating out the fear, assessing it and letting go of what is no longer needed, (Briere, J. N., & Scott, C., 2014). 

A preoccupation with the other person highlights the anxious attachment system. We can be so consumed with getting love it can be hard to acknowledge the love we have. We often struggle with our self-worth and need constant reassurance. It is helpful to notice the ways we are loved and cared for when this system is triggered. It is also important to ask for our needs to be met; otherwise, resentment builds (Heller, 2013). 

It is not as common to have individuals with an avoidant attachment system come to counselling. The avoidant person does not realize that other people can meet their needs. They are very independent and value alone time. Usually, it is only through experiencing being loved and cared for that this individual realizes what they were missing (Heller, 2013). 

Dr. Richard Schwartz developed Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS). In this work, we connect to our most authentic sense of self. Our self-care and mindfulness practices can help us to connect to this core version of ourselves. IFS understands that we all have different parts of ourselves that develop over time to help us deal with stress and trauma. These various parts are there to help us cope with stress, but without awareness, they can repeat old unhelpful patterns of strategies. This work shows us how we can more whole and more alive when we spend more time with our authentic selves (Schwartz, 2019).


Embodiment Counselling

Please note that Tara is not currently accepting referrals.